Today’s salon was just as bleak; dr didn’t come either T_T. Only byz and xxj showed up to lend support, in the afternoon and evening respectively. But byz basically didn’t talk about anything; he spent ages reading books, while I was writing the reading notes from the previous post. As for xxj, who just left, we didn’t chat much either, including the relationship between life and reading (I believe reading is itself a part of life and should not be split off into some other activity that is either above or below life), and we also touched on a few questions about games (and childhood), as well as some strange private matters. On the whole, this was probably the quietest salon since it began.
Because my biological clock had already been out of sync for the past few days, and last night I went to the class reunion after the group gathering, then got up early today to rush to school for a hepatitis B vaccine, my mental state today was abysmal; I couldn’t do anything at all, including sleeping—so that reading note I wrote came out rather odd, and after I finished it I was completely drained of magic…
Of course, even when I’m in top form, this kind of “boring” state is still inevitable, and in many cases even necessary. If all participants insist on coming only when they are sure there will be something to talk about, then this salon will also be hard to run well. I hope the regulars can come with the attitude of “just dropping by to sit for a while” or “killing time at random,” because that is what will better sustain the vitality of the salon.
Why do I say this? First, the meaning of the salon needs to be reexamined:
First of all, coming to the Saturday salon is not just about chatting with me personally. Of course, for those friends who are still somewhat unfamiliar and want to begin getting to know me, I welcome and even recommend that they first find me through the salon. Besides, if someone who basically doesn’t know me wants to make an appointment to chat with me at some other time, I myself may not necessarily be willing; it’s still better to come to the salon openly and meet me there. But for the salon’s regulars, or my classmates and old friends, there’s no need to be so formal. When you want to talk with me, you can make an appointment separately, or meet near the school or at my home. For example, it would be most appropriate for byz to come directly to my private library before preparing his paper for KeTong; if he came to Xin Dao to look for me, efficiency would actually be worse.
That is why I have long emphasized that the meaning of a café lies not in appointments but in encounters, in uncertainty and possibility—you don’t know whom you will meet, or what topic will come up; that is what makes it interesting. Don’t come only when you have a problem. When you have no topic, you might as well come sit idly here, or come read some idle books, or bring a laptop and surf the web and post nonsense, or just come drink tea and stare blankly. All of that is good. Because as long as you come, you add one more possibility. If there could be two or three regulars—no more than that—who are willing to come here often and sit in a daze, then the salon’s possibilities would skyrocket exponentially.
As I originally envisioned it, the purpose of this kind of loose café-salon activity is, first, to promote an academic atmosphere of “leisure,” while at the same time providing the possibility of exchange among friends of various backgrounds, so that participants have the chance to encounter different people, hear all kinds of information and viewpoints, and also have the chance to make unrestrained speeches and expressions to different audiences. In particular, this opportunity for self-expression is the most precious of all.
And in discussions involving multiple participants, we often need different kinds of roles in order to keep the exchange going in a lively and rich way. For example: topic initiator, derailer, orator, challenger, bystander, listener, note-taker, expert, comic relief, and so on and so on. The existence of each role will add color to the exchange. But obviously, although sometimes one person can double or triple as several roles, no one can always take care of everything in the same scene.
For instance, by listener here I mean those who are able to listen attentively; they are always able to give the orator appropriate responses and feedback. This kind of “feedback” may even need only be conveyed through silent language such as nodding, smiling, or frowning. Someone like me, who often plays the role of orator, can best appreciate how important the presence of an appropriate listener is. The right response provides the best encouragement to the speaker, while an uncomfortable rhythm will cause the orator to lose interest.
Conversely, by bystander I mean those who find it difficult or are unwilling to listen attentively. They are often absent-minded, as if unrelated to the exchange, yet they still stick right in front of your eyes like a “light bulb.” If café conversation were some sort of tryst, then of course the light bulb should be driven away; but our exchange is a salon rather than a date, so the speaker or the people in dialogue should instead do everything they can to “pull them in.” Thus the orator must rack his brains and do everything possible to arouse the bystander’s interest, using more vivid and straightforward language to move them. The bystander’s presence forces the speaker to consider the listener’s interests and feelings more, so as not to become too self-absorbed.
An orator is not only not necessarily a good listener at the same time, but also not necessarily always a topic initiator or questioner; this is especially obvious in my case. Once I find the right “opening,” I can talk at length without stopping, but this “opening” is often the thing that troubles me most. I have said that when writing papers, I often spend seven or eight tenths of my time looking for the “opening.” It’s similar in oral communication.
Experts and comic relief are not indispensable roles, and if they are always involved, the discussion may become tiresome. But their presence can often add quite a bit to the discussion: the former makes it more serious and solid, while the latter makes it livelier and more spirited.
As for derailers, they are somewhat different from ordinary joking around or absent-mindedness. Derailing is a more subtle craft; an excellent derailer can, in a way that seems naturally formed and effortless, manipulate the direction of the discussion from behind the scenes. They can, at the right moment, restrain those topics that have sunk into emptiness or dullness, and lead people toward a new and more energetic discursive space. And this kind of guidance can happen without being abrupt, which depends on the derailer’s precise and ingenious handling. Of course, some derailing talents are innate; such people are often themselves unaware of their own achievements and instead think they have failed, not realizing how meaningful a well-timed derailment can be.
Personally, I may be able to play the roles of orator and challenger, and may also occasionally guest-star as listener and bystander, but I find it difficult to handle many other roles. And if the participants at each salon always consist of only one or two kinds of roles, then the vitality and richness of the exchange will not be easy to sustain.
The ideal situation would be to attract three to five fairly regular regulars (let’s form an “Olympian Academy of Philosophy”~), ensuring that there are always at least two people on standby, including me, and then when a third regular appears, or when a rare visitor or stranger drops by, there will always be an appropriate combination of roles that can allow the exchange to unfold. From current experience, although a two-person gathering often risks falling flat, when three to five people participate, the discussion can almost always run in different styles.
Of course, up to now, the participants still have not been able to fully bring out the characteristics of the café salon; quite often they only come running over when they already have a topic in hand, and this kind of intentionality is unnecessary. As long as three or five participants who can cover various exchange roles meet each other, lively and interesting discussion will naturally be sparked—topic initiators provide the initial opening, even if the later discussion goes miles off-topic; orators provide sufficient content; challengers make the discussion intense; derailers prevent the discussion from getting bogged down in excessive entanglement; listeners stimulate the enthusiasm of the speaker; bystanders do not allow the orator to become self-important; experts and comic relief balance the discussion between solidity and liveliness…
Finally, what I want to explain is that although the past three salons have seemed rather bleak and sparse, so far I am still fairly satisfied with how the salon has been operating. When I originally planned to organize reading groups, I said, “Two people make it live, three people make it happen”; now, even without a specific reading group (I’ll arrange one next semester), there are already several friends who participate regularly, and that is enough to surprise me. The “Olympian Academy of Philosophy” no longer seems like a far-fetched fantasy either (please refer to Einstein’s three-person group “operating” in cafés when he was young—the Olympian Academy).
Given that from now until the end of the semester I seem likely to be busy beyond breathing (and considering that the other students will mostly also be thrown into the end-of-semester crush), I currently have no mind to take any further measures regarding the salon’s operation. I only hope that the few customers so far won’t lose confidence. It would be fine if the last few salons of this semester could simply maintain the status quo (of course, word of mouth to bring in new people is still welcome). When next semester comes, I will reactivate things again, and I will try to establish my “Olympian Academy of Philosophy” within this year of my zodiac sign.
Those who appeared today: byz/xxj
Possible topic next time: still practicing laziness or chatting nonsense
Latest comments
- benj
2009-05-10 17:49:07 Anonymous 125.33.127.214
I’ll try to bring a classmate from another school next time .-.-
Translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The original text is authoritative.
Leave a Reply