Supplementary Notes and Self-Introduction Following “Zheng mm”

坦白说，我的征mm启事发得实在缺乏诚意，本来想好在谈完“概念问题”之后就谈谈自己的个性和特点的，结果扯了一通概念后发泄完毕，就不想写别的了，结果整个启事连同诠释在内关于我个人情况的介绍几乎就只有第1条这么点儿——当然，这一句话包含了最为核心的部分。
当然，即便对我的各种情况毫不了解，只是看了启事就来应征的人，我也是欢迎的，只不过在随后的接触中我早晚也一定会把我的各种特点展示给她看。而对mm来说，如果能够事先看过我的介绍，心中有数再来应征，总比接触之后再被我吓走来得更好。所以我现在还是多少先说明一些吧。

Supplementary notes and self-introduction following the “seeking mm” notice

坦白说，我的征mm启事发得实在缺乏诚意，本来想好在谈完“概念问题”之后就谈谈自己的个性和特点的，结果扯了一通概念后发泄完毕，就不想写别的了，结果整个启事连同诠释在内关于我个人情况的介绍几乎就只有第1条这么点儿——当然，这一句话包含了最为核心的部分。

当然，即便对我的各种情况毫不了解，只是看了启事就来应征的人，我也是欢迎的，只不过在随后的接触中我早晚也一定会把我的各种特点展示给她看。而对mm来说，如果能够事先看过我的介绍，心中有数再来应征，总比接触之后再被我吓走来得更好。所以我现在还是多少先说明一些吧。

Before introducing myself, let me first say a few more words about what I think of mm’s or applicants’ side of things.

As I said before, I do not preset any standard for “what the relationship between an mm and me ought to be”; as for “what it even means to be an ‘applicant,’” I am even less in possession of any definite concept. Obviously, the mere fact that you say “I’m applying” and I say “Sure” does not mean the establishment of any more specific relationship. The question is, then what?

In short, whether as “mm” directly or as “seeking and applying,” these relationships will be something we have yet to construct together. You may take a more active role in shaping a new relationship, and you may even directly offer me suggestions and discuss things with me. But if you merely apply and that’s all, then you cannot expect me to necessarily do anything next. In fact, I do not know what exactly you want to do, much less what I should do. If all you have done is answer once, then for me the meaning is only that you have added a possibility into my field of vision, that you have particularly drawn my attention, and I passively open my arms to you. But for the moment, under normal circumstances, I will not take on a particularly active stance.

There is only one situation in which I will shift from my present role as a fisherman waiting for the willing fish to bite into that of an active catcher: namely, “impulse.” What is meant by “impulse” is simply irrationality. There are only two kinds of it: one is an unreasoned impulse arising from within—“Hey, I—right now—don’t overthink it.” The other is an impulse triggered by external stimulation; in brief, it means that I am deeply attracted by, or greatly intrigued by, some girl. Of course, there is no definite standard for what counts as “deeply attracted.” Basically, as a normal man, every girl can arouse my interest. As for what kind of girl would attract me more, or even what kind of girl would make me actively pursue her, that is hard to say. In fact, every personality trait and its opposite are attractive: introverted/extroverted, passionate/cold, intellectual/affective, refined/wild, immature/mature, ordinary/outstanding… In my view, no one type of personality is more lovable than another; only when various tense personality traits are integrated within a complete person and displayed in concrete situations through concrete means can one speak of whether my feeling is good or bad. This is also one of the considerations behind my saying “no conditions are excluded.”

If there is indeed some particular character trait that I especially prefer, it would probably be “honesty.” In fact, this point is already implied by the notice itself. Since the meaning of “mm” (generally speaking) lies in “falling in love,” and love (generally speaking) is something that happens through “talking,” and “applying” (generally speaking) is also always expressed through words, then of course you must ensure a basic minimum of honesty. If what you say can all be said offhand, can be withdrawn at any time, and can contradict itself, then I naturally have no way to take your words seriously, nor will I make an effort to understand your intentions (how does one understand dishonest intentions?). Of course, the “honesty” I mean is only a vague quality; it by no means requires things like “being consistent between heart and mouth at every moment” or “saying whatever one thinks.” Moreover, this quality is still not absolutely necessary. If you say that love does not need “talking,” that one should simply “get on with the real work,” then I am not unable to accept that either. Although it is not easy to imagine such a possibility becoming reality, after all, I have not preemptively closed off these possibilities.

Apart from personality, other conditions will of course also catch my attention. For example, appearance, thought, background, and so on. As for appearance, I already mentioned in the comments after that notice that I would not repeat myself here. It must be admitted that among the many factors, appearance is the condition most likely to trigger my impulse, because the liking evoked by appearance is the most immediate and direct. But the more reason permeates things, the more secondary appearance becomes. As for a girl arousing my impulse through her thought, that is relatively more difficult; but once it arouses my interest, it is more likely to provoke my more enduring and deeper attention. (As for appearance, although it can trigger emotional impulse in me, it is not easy for it to arouse lasting interest, because there are so many people who look pleasing to the eye. Not to mention that as an otaku, I am already quite satisfied just by enjoying the beauty of anime girls…)

I won’t say much more about these matters. Back to the point: let me talk about myself.

As for my various relevant conditions, they can roughly be divided into several categories: first, those with little or no possibility of change; second, those that may change but that I subjectively do not much want to change, or that objectively are not easy to change; third, those that can be changed according to mm’s preferences; and fourth, those that may change against mm’s preferences.

Let me start with the first category. The most typical examples are things like date of birth, family background, and upbringing—obviously, the past cannot be changed. Height and appearance, although in principle changeable, are in fact more or less fixed; as for me, around 179 cm tall, with very dark skin, there is nothing I can do about that. Weight is at least somewhat controllable, but basically I’m just a bit on the heavy side.

Several key points in the second category were mentioned in the first sentence of the notice: “Peking University philosophy of technology. Settled in Beijing. Loves wisdom, books, and animation.” More specifically, first, I must at present keep muddling through in the philosophy of technology program in the Philosophy Department at Peking University; after that I want to settle in Beijing (of course, moving back to Shanghai later on is also very possible, but first I will certainly spend a few years in Beijing). Then I will take philosophy (love of wisdom) as the career of my life. Whether as a professor, researcher, or a “folk philosopher,” philosophy for me is not a career choice, but a choice of life as a whole. This is of course not something that cannot be changed, but basically there is no room for discussion. As for books (mainly academic books; I hardly read novels) and animation (of course meaning anime), these are my current hobbies. They do not seem easy to give up in the short term, but in the long run they may still change, so perhaps they could also be placed in the third or fourth categories. It is just that at present I have no other hobbies worth mentioning besides books and animation, and these two things are in fact rather important.

In addition, as the saying goes, “a river and a hill can be changed, but one’s nature is hard to alter.” Many traits of personality are not very easy to change either. Speaking for myself, my main personality traits are roughly: lazy, indifferent, not good with words, devoted to freedom, stubbornly unwilling to admit fault, and loving all life (the world, humanity).

First comes the deeply rooted “lazy”: not diligent, not hardworking. I do not feel ashamed of sloth, nor do I need to search for the meaning of life through busyness. Neither the trivial matters of personal life nor those of the nation, the people, and humanity at large (for instance, affairs touching on politics, economics, livelihoods, and the like) will attract me to throw myself into them. Of course, I may take certain matters as a game and immerse myself in them with focus, but a game itself is an activity premised on leisure; at most it only appears busy.

Saying “indifferent” is also related to “lazy,” and it means that I am likewise not very lively in social interaction. I am indifferent to all the trivial matters of my own life; in particular, I can appreciate some trivial things, but I will never let them trouble me, and of course one cannot expect me to be especially concerned with the trifles of others. So the result is that I do not know how to care for others (after all, apart from trivialities, what else is there to care about?), much less how to coax people, flatter them, and so on. Of course, I like to think of myself as someone “cold on the outside, warm on the inside.” A friend’s joy or sorrow can also move me as if it were my own, and a friend’s requests and pleas for help I will certainly do my utmost to answer. But in any case, if you call me indifferent, I have no way to refute it.

Then there is “not good with words,” which seems related to the previous two, but this is also a deeply rooted habit. I only become able to speak with ease, confidence, and without end… when I am on the internet, especially on a blog. But once you talk with me face to face, you will find that I am truly stammering and tongue-tied. Of course, if given the right stimulation, I can also deliver a long speech or engage in a debate with my mouth, but those are all public forms of discourse. In more immediate and more private conversation, I am always extremely clumsy. Therefore, expecting me to be able to chatter happily with an mm, utter clever remarks one after another, or pour out sweet nothings and the like is probably bound to lead to disappointment. Although subjectively I am still willing to try as hard as I can, please do not expect too much…

Next, the concept of “freedom” is incomparably important to me. Of course, this “freedom” is not just the freedom of being loose and undisciplined, but freedom as “responsibility.” If I were speaking of my traits in high school, I would emphasize “a sense of responsibility” rather than “freedom,” but now I emphasize only “freedom.” The “responsibility” I now emphasize is precisely responsibility as freedom—namely, being responsible for oneself, and by no means being responsible for others. In my view, only freedom is true responsibility. I have talked about related topics many times on my blog, so here I will only mention it briefly: freedom and slavery are opposites. A slave does not need to be responsible for himself; he is only responsible for carrying out his master’s orders, while the responsibility for his actions falls upon his master. For example, if a master orders a slave to kill someone, and the slave has no freedom and must kill, then the act of killing is only the master’s responsibility. But a free person has no master, nor does he submit under any system of authority. That is to say, he does not need to obey any command coming from others; a free person only does what he himself wills. Therefore, he has no right to let other people or other things bear responsibility for him; he can only bear his own words and deeds himself. If I put it specifically in terms of the relationship with an mm, I must say: I do not bear responsibility toward mm. I will not force others to do things against their will, and if she chooses certain things out of her own will, then I will not be responsible for her choice. At the same time, all of my investment in mm—material, temporal, and emotional—will certainly also be voluntary, and mm does not need to be responsible for it. If she leaves me at any time, I will not regret what I have given, and of course mm need not feel any guilt. Of course, if one betrays oneself and spins lies that cannot be made to cohere, then one ought of course to feel guilty—but that is your own business. “Feeling guilty in one’s heart” refers to feeling ashamed when facing one’s own inner self, not to feeling ashamed in front of others. In short, what I can guarantee and promise is that I will be responsible for my own choices for life. But I am making this guarantee to myself rather than to others; in front of others I can only say this: I will never “admit fault.” Regarding what I have said and what I have done, I will never negate it with “I was wrong.” Related issues were mentioned in earlier articles, such as “Choose it yourself, and stubbornly refuse to admit fault,” and in its comments, so I will not say more here.

The character trait of “stubbornly refusing to admit fault” naturally also leads to my tenacity regarding my own statements. Of course, the issue here is a bit different, involving my understanding of thought and history (I have written related articles about this before), but I will not dwell on it too much here. In short, whether it be classmates and teachers, or an mm, it is almost impossible to get me to retract some statement or remark. Of course, errors caused by typos, slips of the tongue, mishearing, misidentification, and the like I naturally admit very easily, but if you want me to deny a proposition that I did not blurt out casually, that is extremely difficult. At the same time, I will certainly never lightly say that I accept one of your viewpoints, because once I have admitted what you say, I will then have to defend it for a long time afterward. So this is not something to be compromised with casually. Therefore, if you want me to do something, you may as well say: “Because I like you doing this,” “Because I dislike you doing that,” and so on. Then if I care about your feelings and the matter is not of major importance, I will very likely follow your wishes. But once you say: “You should do this, because doing so is right/good/beneficial/reasonable…” — that is, once you want to appeal to some public reason for doing this thing, rather than simply to your private likes and dislikes — then I cannot easily agree with you. I will ask: why? What counts as right? Beneficial to what? Reasonable how?… Of course, unless you convince me, I will not compromise. Although I may eventually compromise in action—“Enough arguing; I’ll do it”—in matters of principle I will never say one thing and mean another. My hardness in this respect is undoubtedly something my mm will have to endure.

Finally, let me say “loving all.” In fact, this is the key point I wanted to express in the explanatory part of the notice, and it has also been repeatedly stated in the writings from my period of seclusion. Of course, it is also the core of the starry-sky philosophy that has always hung high at the top of Suixuan. I will not repeat it much here. In short, do not ever expect to find anything that I can hate together with you; such a thing can absolutely not be found.

The habits above can be regarded as hard to change. There are other habits, however, that are not difficult to alter. Typical examples are habits such as diet and daily routine. As for eating, basically anything commonly eaten in restaurants on the market is acceptable to me; there are no taboos regarding ingredients from heaven above or earth below. Of course, if mm has particular preferences or taboos, I suppose I can adapt rather easily. As for daily routine, at present I sleep late, get up late, and have no schedule, but if adjustment is needed, that is no problem. Being careless because of laziness can also perhaps be improved to a moderate degree. In addition, although my current entertainment interests are rather monotonous, other interests can all be cultivated. Apart from activities that go against my deeply rooted personality or habits, I basically have nothing to resist.

There are also some other conditions that may be attributes of mine at present, but I do not guarantee that they are fixed. In other words, if an mm only approaches me because of those external things, that would be extremely risky, because I can discard them at any time. For example, the property my parents gave me, my work and “status” (of course these are all future matters), and so on. Therefore, in the earlier notice I also made no mention whatsoever of my real estate, although for me it is indeed a good thing; but at most it can only have the meaning of icing on the cake.

To be continued

November 20, 2008

Latest comments

• aleph

  2008-11-22 12:53:38 Anonymous 125.46.31.172

  Your view of love seems to have always been like this; whereas my view of love has been changing slowly over time——but I have no intention of writing article after article to say so one by one; I’m just sighing a bit about myself (and even the mist who used to claim to be unchanged is changing too…)
  anyway, waiting for your tg bg~~

• Gǔ Chǔ

  2008-11-22 13:44:39 

  I still have changed a great deal; I just stand firm in the past, keep arguing for myself continuously, and thereby maintain my coherence and unity. In other words, my present views and my earlier views form a continuous unity; the present me is a further unfolding, enrichment, and realization of the earlier me, rather than its negation and betrayal.
  anyway, thanks for your support. If it really turns into tg, I’ll be the first to bg you, but don’t expect it anytime soon…

• aleph

  2008-11-22 18:12:25 Anonymous 124.205.78.199

  nkm has something he wants to find you about, but he is afraid that you are in the middle of tging and worries about disturbing your arrangements

• aleph

  2008-11-22 18:16:49 Anonymous 125.46.31.172 

  ps
  has xihuang tg’d? I heard the rumor

• Girl from the Alps

  2008-12-04 17:00:33 Anonymous 202.108.128.88 

  I’m applying! Let’s get to know each other a bit. I’m a GIRL, but not an mm, born in 1982, so first of all age is not a problem, hehe.

• Gǔ Chǔ

  2008-12-04 19:46:27

  A surprise～

  You can search the blog for various things about me, or just ask directly; I answer every question. You’re welcome to provide me with information about yourself in whatever way you like—for example QQ, Email, a blog, or just leave a message here. You can also choose not to provide anything for now and say more when we meet.

  Age of course is an issue, though not a निर्णining one. But because of various internal and external factors, taken as a whole age is actually still quite a sizable issue among all the issues, so my use of the word “mm” also carries a little of the meaning of leaving myself some room for maneuver in my explanation. This is something I want to state frankly in advance.

  Of course I won’t refuse you because of age, as long as you can still be called “mm.” If you truly no longer wish to apply under the name “mm,” and want me to close the “recruiting mm” notice, that is also possible. As for some external problems, those can all be overcome.

  More than anything else, what I most want to know is your motivation and what you have considered in applying.

• The Girl of the Alps

  2008-12-04 20:41:35

  Here’s how it is: this afternoon I was searching Baidu for articles on science and religion, and ended up seeing your blog; then by chance I saw that post recruiting a friend. Actually we’re really quite alike in this respect. I used to do something similar myself, though it was a post on the Peking University Physics Department forum. I don’t know whether it’s still there. It’s a pity nobody took it seriously back then. First let me introduce myself: I won’t reveal my real name just yet. I’m a master’s student in history of science, and I’ve studied a bit of philosophy of science too, though I’m afraid I can’t talk with you about overly specialized issues. Actually I’m not very good at talking or writing; I don’t have a blog. QQ:51321780, email:sbj8@tom.com. You really are special—other people say that about me, but today I’ve truly met my match, haha. Let’s be friends!

• Liz

  2008-12-30 20:55:49 

  Your “recruiting mm” notice really overestimates an mm’s endurance too much

  Gu: This is exactly the effect I wanted~

• Liz

  2008-12-30 21:52:30 [Reply]

  Good luck

• Little Moon

  2009-02-12 19:40:32 Anonymous 116.242.238.152

  Self-introduction
  Height: 165
  Build: neither fat nor thin (possibly thanks to good eating and sleeping habits)
  Self-assessment of appearance: approachable, kind, extremely likely to be asked for directions while walking on the street (not a “people turning their heads” rate…)
  Self-assessment of personality:
  1. Rebellious, for example if the people around me are diligent, I’ll become very lazy; but if everyone else is very lazy, I’ll become very diligent…
  2. I basically do nothing about things I’m not interested in (though if there were a gun pointed at my back, I’d still do it), and when I do things I’m interested in, my confidence becomes unprecedentedly strong.
  3. I generally won’t主动 speak to strangers, but when I’m with acquaintances I turn into a chatterbox; from babies of a few months old to people in their eighties or nineties, I can chat with them for hours without difficulty. (Once I explained the alien base on the far side of the moon in great detail to my eighty-something grandfather, and he believed it completely!~)
  4. I revere freedom, refuse to admit fault to the death, and love life (borrowing your words, though they may have nothing to do with interpretation)
  Diet: as long as it’s not extremely spicy or extremely salty, I can accept it; my sense of taste is quite dull (my dad often says I’m easier to feed than a pig…)
  Hobbies: 1. Reading: philosophical books (including professional books), astronomy, geography, biology, cutting-edge physics, science fiction, crappy online novels (I’ll read them even if I end up wanting to vomit afterward; self-abusive pastime), basically not world classics…
  2. If sports count, then badminton and ping-pong; my level is very low, but occasionally my inner universe erupts and I defeat masters…
  The above counts as a basic introduction.

Translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The original text is authoritative.