Grandfather

Grandfather
Hu Tianding posted on 2006-09-12 02:15:25

Mourning Grandfather

1

My grandfather had the best temper imaginable. He was always thinking of others, always worrying about others. He was often fretting over this and that for other people, while never causing trouble for anyone himself. Even when Grandpa was gravely ill, whenever he was lucid he would always ask his family to go back home and not stay with him at the hospital: the air in the hospital was bad, his children should not delay their work, their own health was not good either… One day, my uncle-in-law kept watch over him through the night, and Grandpa called him over several times, only to say: Aren’t you cold? These clothes aren’t enough… He did not want to trouble any of his family members; he did not mind having a caregiver look after him, but even when he was seriously ill he did not forget to secretly take out his own money and slip a red envelope to him. Even when he passed away, he was still so serene, so clean and neat.

I have said before that Grandpa was the most punctual person. He would rather wait for others for an hour than let others wait for him for a minute. Grandpa spoke very little and liked to keep everything bottled up inside, silently carrying his worries in his heart. Whenever family members ran into trouble, he was often more anxious than they themselves were. I knew it even when Grandpa did not say it; I knew it all the same.

I was raised by Grandpa, and since I was little I was the closest to him of anyone. I wanted to do well in college, get married and establish myself early, and the first person I wanted to show that to was Grandpa, so that he could feel reassured and happy. When I was in Beijing, I rarely called my parents; every time I phoned home, I would always ask for Grandpa, report that I was safe, and listen to Grandpa’s voice. That was something I never failed to do every week.

Grandpa taught me many things, many principles. As I recall, when I was very young I already remembered Grandpa spreading out one palm and telling me that we should talk about “mingzhu,” that our family should “mingzhu” something or other. As a child I thought he meant the “apple of one’s eye” kind of thing, and I could not make sense of it. Only later did I understand that Grandpa was talking about “democracy”: one should respect others, treat people as equals, and discuss things through consultation and reason. Grandpa always explained things in a gentle, good-natured way. It was rare to hear Grandpa raise his voice, let alone curse people or quarrel.

One hand, the flesh on the palm, the flesh on the back of the hand: my cousin and I were always under Grandpa’s care together. My cousin is four months older than I am. When we were children, we were always together, like a pair of twins. We never quarreled, because Grandpa brought us up. I also rarely lost my temper with Grandpa—I often talked back to my parents, but if I got even a little angry while with Grandpa, he would stop speaking, wait until my temper had passed, and then quietly reason with me. Grandpa told me: “Don’t act on impulse.” When doing things, one must think clearly, stay calm, and reason things through.

Grandpa was born in the year of the Horse, and this year he was seventy-seven—not really old yet, was he? He was still quick of mind and clear-headed, still looking so cool and composed, wasn’t he? It was just that he had smoked since he was young, ruining his lungs. Even after he developed emphysema, he never stopped smoking. When I was little I would always force Grandpa to quit smoking (I lost my temper over this several times), but later I no longer bothered. How could a decades-long cigarette addiction be something one could just quit? Only recently did Grandpa himself no longer want to smoke, and that turned out to be a bad sign.

Grandpa should have lived a few more years. He himself wanted to make it through. To live some carefree, trouble-free good days. Many of the worries Grandpa had once borne had already passed: all three of his children had steady and harmonious homes; my cousin and I were also grown, and before long we too would be starting families and building our lives… But in the end, the miracle still did not happen. Grandpa still left us, and left so quickly.

September 12, 2006

Grandpa, Aiai, Dinging

Latest comments

• mist

  2006-09-12 17:29:06 

  Now I understand why you call yourself Tianding—you’re the one on the left, right?
  About the science courses: I chose Mathematical Structures, and I’ve already dropped Philosophy of Mathematics; it felt too difficult. I’m considering whether to take Mathematical Analysis, and I’m waiting for your message.
  Zhyl chose Mathematical Structures and Philosophy of Mathematics, and is also considering Mathematical Analysis.

• mist

  2006-09-13 13:01:07

  Latest update
  We both dropped Philosophy of Mathematics and have already enrolled in Mathematical Analysis.

• Gu

  2006-09-13 20:28:51 

  What exactly does Philosophy of Mathematics cover, and how difficult is it? Can one still sign up for Mathematical Analysis next week? It’s not convenient to contact you if you don’t use QQ. Do you still use MSN? My MSN account at home is also hyl510@gmail.com

• mist

  2006-09-13 23:32:39 

  Haha, senior said he wants to borrow your New Ethics to read.
  I’ve added you as an MSN contact; my MSN is mistgalaxie@msn.com.
  Now I’m basically a science student too. Including the double degree, I’ve enrolled in 19 credits, of which 15 are science courses…
  After taking Mathematical Structures, Zhang Yulan decided to drop Mathematical Structures and switch to Philosophy of Mathematics. Right now I’m taking Mathematical Structures + Mathematical Analysis,
  and you can still sign up for Mathematical Analysis next week.
  Philosophy of Mathematics won’t actually be all that difficult; you just need to be prepared that it may take quite a bit of thought. The grade depends only on a final paper, and in class students give presentations on a certain topic. The syllabus is in /cllc.

• unic

  2006-09-15 15:39:29 

  What a good grandfather, what a good grandfather…
  Have a good journey.

Translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The original text is authoritative.