Recently I’ve been thinking a lot: sometimes even I can’t stand myself. But there’s nothing to be done about it. Three or five years ago, many of my ideas were, one should say, about the same as those of ordinary people in society. And I myself have been growing; looking back now, some of the things I used to think really were childish. But the worse luck is that I’ll keep on growing. So my growth has practically become a symbol of the widening gap between my thinking and that of ordinary people, meaning that the depth of my thought will never again be able to return to the level of an ordinary little citizen. I feel helpless. All along I’ve wanted to come back around, and indeed in many ideas I’ve felt a kind of returning to simplicity, back to the conclusions of my even younger self. But this is sublimation rather than regression; it only further means that I’m getting older. Now I’ve come to understand: these views and those views were things I once held to, but now I have surpassed them. Whether this surpassing brings me closer to truth or farther away from it, whether it is just “the fifty steps laughing at the hundred” (五十步笑百步) or not, after all I’ve gone farther than those views—why should I avoid that? In terms of experience, knowledge, or thought, among young people I unquestionably count as having gone far. I used to take this as a source of distress, but now I’m prepared to accept it honestly. It’s impossible to find contemporaries who can understand me; even if such people exist, they would be as terrifying as I am… My thoughts are hard to resonate with for ordinary people. One only has to compare them with my own thoughts from a few years ago to know this. Only in the writings of masters can I find things that make me resonate. I have always advocated equal debate, and that position has not changed. But what I advocate is that everyone has the right to express their thoughts honestly, and that everyone’s speech ought to be listened to seriously—the right to speak is equal, but that does not mean the depth of thought is equal. There will always be people who stand higher up. And people who stand higher up are not thereby qualified to point fingers at others and make everyone accept the same views. In fact, I myself have felt that the more one thinks, the more troubled one becomes; the more innocence one can preserve, the better. But childish people should also know their place. What I despise most are young people nowadays who know only a tiny bit and then wave the banners of freedom of speech, equality of thought, and the like, shouting themselves hoarse. They do not acknowledge distinctions of high and low in thought, and declare, “You have your standpoint, I have mine; no one is higher than anyone else; no one has the right to pontificate on or interfere with my private life”—of course, this principle can be said to be a good one, but if it is used as a reason for self-righteousness, then it becomes laughable. Liberalism makes young people self-righteous, while relativism enables young people to find an escape route at any time and thus to act without fear. Of course, from a certain angle you could say that I am even more self-righteous… how should I put it? I’m still a young person too, I suppose, but I am humble when I should be humble. As for whether I myself also belong to the group of young people I can’t stand, even I’m not clear about that—but there is always a distinction. I don’t know whether you can understand this. I don’t want to say any more. As for me now, I uphold pluralism of truth, but I long ago abandoned relativism. For the views I once held, the views I now have after surpassing them are more brilliant. On some issues, ordinary people consider only one angle, while I have thought through both the positive and the negative angles; then I am, of course, the more profound one.
2005-06-29
Latest comments
unic
2007-01-01 01:21:31 [reply]
I want to show you two short essays of mine. Their meaning is related to yours above. Be sure to take a look! Thank you. Because I have a little confusion.
One is called “Talking Love with ‘Oxen’”
http://uniceros.yculblog.com/post.4107632197.html
One is called “Even If We Study Philosophy”
http://uniceros.yculblog.com/post.4107633242.html
Translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The original text is authoritative.
Leave a Reply