On this special day today, I served as a Party introducer for the first time and signed the recommendation statement.
Why am I not only willing to join the Party, but also willing to recommend others to join? I need to explain.
Indeed, this is not only something I am willing to explain, but something I must explain.
I joined the Party when I was in high school; if I had not joined then, I would probably be too lazy to apply now. But I would never simply attribute that decision to youthful ignorance. Certainly, as I have grown older, my life plan has changed enormously: from initially wanting to push reform from within the system to now taking my place in the ivory tower, the things I value have long since shifted. But I have never regretted that choice. That road was merely one I ultimately did not take; it was not one that could not be taken. So if others want to take it, I will not stop them.
But joining the Party is not entirely just a “step,” either. Ordinary people nowadays see joining the Party as a tool for seeking a better, more stable job, and if I say that I saw joining the Party as a tool for participating more directly in system reform, then I am not all that much more sophisticated, truth be told.
On the one hand, joining the Party really is about entering a fellowship out of love and conviction; even if one knows full well that what one holds is a heretical faith, that does not prevent one from deciding to join. Although my understanding of “communism” differs radically from orthodoxy, it is still enough to serve as my reason for joining a society that calls itself communist.
On the other hand, joining the Party is also a form of guilt, an undertaking of original sin.
Many people now think that joining the Party is a gateway to a stable job and an easy life, but I cannot help letting out three cold laughs at that. A society that ignores history cannot see the future either; if history is not brought to account, the future will never be secure. Stability maintenance, stability maintenance—there will always come a day when it slips through your fingers. If society collapses, then no one will be secure; but if history is finally settled, then the very first people who should feel insecure are we Party members.
Since we have enjoyed a privileged position bought with the sins of our predecessors, if those sins are ever brought to account, how could we possibly stand aside? First and foremost, we must accept the guilt. Only after we have borne that guilt can we speak of forgiveness.
I often criticize current affairs, sometimes even with a mocking tone. On the one hand, this does not violate the tradition of “satirical criticism”; on the other, it is also a way of preserving my own sense of humor. If a person only knows how to reason solemnly and has no idea how to laugh, mock, or rage, what kind of life is that? But this certainly does not mean that I, like a Westerner, can keep things at arm’s length and look on coldly, pointing fingers at China’s affairs as if they had nothing to do with me. What I criticize, what I ridicule, what I hold to account, are not people or things unrelated to me. Those who committed the sins are all my predecessors and compatriots, and if I pass judgment on them, I certainly cannot hope to remain uninvolved. Present-day Germans are still responsible for Auschwitz—we will always say: that crime was committed by Germans. So even a German born today, so long as he is still called German, must bear this accusation; there is no escaping it. The sins committed by the Chinese are not something we can escape either. But this notion of a son paying for a father’s debts cannot be limitless; the responsibility for repayment is, after all, finite. Many sins—killing, destruction—can no longer be repaired. If the predecessors failed to settle accounts, the later generations are even less able to make amends. But at the very least, one must awaken to this fact; one certainly cannot hope to continue enjoying ease forever.
A guilty person, no matter how much he reduces his own punishment, always has one penalty that cannot be avoided: self-examination and reflection. This is especially true for us. We once erased history; in the future we must repay it by restoring the severed continuity of Chinese tradition—that is, by continuing the tradition of the Twenty-Four Histories. Rewriting history books: that is the most basic mission of our generation.
But the sins of the Chinese are very different from those of Germany and Japan. We have sinned against our own people; both the perpetrators and the victims are our predecessors. If that is the case, then we ought both to bear guilt and to receive repayment. Here, I have always held an elitist position: I am not the masses. “To establish the heart of Heaven and Earth, to establish the destiny of the people”—this is the responsibility intellectuals should bear, but it is not something that all ordinary people ought to do. To shoulder the fate of an era means carrying the original sin of history upon oneself. Joining the Party, then, is less a matter of wearing a halo than of receiving a guilty name, so that when we review history, we may say, ashamed yet solemnly: “We…”
2012年
6月4日
Translated from the Chinese original with AI assistance. The original text is authoritative.
Leave a Reply